Ten Differences Between Astronomy and Astrology

-- Cosmic Messenger
-- Astronomical Society of Kansas City (Oct. 1996)

Alcohol makes complex astronomical concepts very difficult to comprehend. Alcohol makes complex astrological concepts much easier to comprehend
Astronomers occasionally make accurate predictions.
Telescopes come in a staggering array of shapes and sizes. All ouija boards look the same.
Nancy Reagan never asked an astronomer for advice.
Transposing two object's coordinates makes a big difference. Transposing two persons' horoscopes makes no difference.
Astronomers believe in the truth of relativity. Astrologers believe in the relativity of truth.
Your VISA card limit is of no interest to an astronomer.
Carl Sagan does not have a 900 number, now or ever.
An astronomer may plan his evening according to the position of the stars. An astrologer plans his whole life according to the position of the stars, moon and planets.
Astronomers never try to contact dead astrologers.